Establishing a chivalric order

Since after a long hiatus from random projects likely to fail or be abandoned, I feel it is time to return to that sphere. I have my sights set on an achievable, yet still challenging goal. Radio wave reflecting armour, RFID-killing technology, and CO2 rifles were too easy. A self-contained environment to replicate that of Earth after nuclear war was too tedious to get any further than the construction stage. I lacked funding and experience for social experiments.

But, the idea of a secret-ish society has always intrigued me. The draft that is presented below has been in development for about a month now, with additions and revisions as I think of them, however the concept has been in my mind far longer than any of my other undertakings. The Knights of Anarchy – a society dedicated to the furthering of personal liberty, but also bound by laws of chivalry to defend that which is sacred. I’m also considering “Knights of Liberty” as a name, since “Anarchy” has bad connotations amongst those ignorant or uneducated to its ways. It is my own personal attempt to save the world from what I see as a degradation or complete disregard for values which all humans should hold dear, according to my beliefs anyway. It is my reaction to a collapsing world where hate and aggression are commonplace and such values as freedom, love, and peace are degraded. The ultimate goal – let others live however they wish and be let to live however you desire.

So, now I present the online first draft of my constitution for public viewing and review. Oh, and excuse the pompous and archaic language, for I am eccentric and cannot help myself to write such a document any other way.

The Doctrine of the

Order of

the Knights

of Anarchy,

its establishment and a constitution of its principle.

I : Establishment of the Order of the Knights of Anarchy

Article I: Establishment of the Provisional Fraternal Order

Free and sovereign, we, the individuals of the Order of the Knights and Anarchy, pledge allegiance to no state, man, or god.

Article II: Legislature

The object of the law being to maintain order, freedom and justice shall be the whole of the law. The law is sacred and eternal. [not complete]

II : The Chivalric Code

Article I: Establishment

When a society, or the world as a whole, fails to uphold a universal standard of virtue and relies increasingly on the authority and responsibility exerted by others, it becomes necessary, for sacred Freedom and Justice, to establish a code to which the Free and Just are eternally beholden.

Article II: The Tenets of the Chivalric Code

I. Tenet of Courage

The Courageous must persevere through hard times and have no fear.

II. Tenet of Justice

The Just must show respect for Life, Liberty, and Property.

III. Tenet of Mercy

The Merciful are to judge with fairness and forgive the penitent.

IV. Tenet of Humility

The Humble are to respect others, live within their means, and shun the superficial.

V. Tenet of Patience

The Patient are to exercise temperance and observe the Zero-Aggression Principle.

VI. Tenet of Will

The Generous must give to the poor, help the needy, and protect the weak.

VII. Tenet of Honesty

The Honest must remain faithful to their hearts and never bear false witness.

IIX. Tenet of Knowledge

The Wise must seek enlightenment through the knowledge of the ages.

Respect the eight tenets of the Chivalric Code, and you shall do honor to Freedom and Justice.

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III : Ranks

Article I: Establishment of Ranks and Requirement of Duty

The duties of all ranks are to uphold the Chivalric Code, set an example for others, and stand ready to defend Freedom and Justice. As rank increases, so do the duties expected of that rank.

Article II: Absence of Executive

Because the Order is ruled by the ideals set forth in this Constitution, no single member of the Order shall ever rule over another. Rank establishes prestige and seniority and does not include increased authority, power, or privilege other than what is permitted in the description of each rank.

Article III: Ranks and their Requirements

Layman

Nothing is required of the Layman.

Knight Brother or Knight Sister

The Knight Brother or Sister must prove that they have/can live(d) by the Chivalric Code.

The additional duties of the Knight Brother or Knight Sister include attending and aiding in events.

Knight Errant

The Knight Errant is expected to undertake a mission to benefit his or her local community.

The additional duties of the Knight Errant include organizing events and being ready to accept missions and tasks from leading members.

Knight Guardian

The Knight Guardian is required to undertake a mission to prove his or her responsibility.

The additional duties of the Knight Guardian include being ready to the defend the Order in combat and helping lower ranking members fulfill their duties and missions.

Knight Captain

The Knight Captain shall embark on a personal quest of discovery and enlightenment.

The additional duties of the Knight Captain include organizing missions for lower ranking members in defense of the Order and universal freedom and justice.

And there you have it, so far – my nieve idealism on paper…er screen…unless you print it out to read it. It will likely still go through multiple revisions based on the input of others. Possible additions include: specific article defining voluntary membership in the Order (if you don’t like my rules, you don’t have to live by them), section detailing a provisional army and its organization, and the obvious expansion of Section 1, article 2.

EDIT 11/9/09 ~9:46 PM: fixed alignment issue

I’m also considering “Knights of Liberty” as a name, since “Anarchy” has bad connotations amongst those ignorant or uneducated to its ways.

Law != Order

!= means “not equal to,” for those of you who don’t understand basic math.

People often claim (and I base this assumption upon words heard in the street, attitudes  professed as being normal in the media, and alleged principles and values proclaimed by politicians and holy men) that the law is always in the best interest of the people, after all it is designed to protect them since this is a free country. Right? (Hint: it never was a free country)

For example, imagine that it is five or so years in the future and the human genome is now patented. If you wish to have a baby, therefore, you MUST, by law, pay royalties to whoever “owns” the human genome, or else it would by piracy/copyright infringement/etc (which is obviously, and rightfully so, illegal…because, being theft, it also WRONG). Now, in this nightmare world, two people in a loving relationship decide to have a child. Let’s call them Bob and Suzy, because those are common names that do not represent anyone I know (apologies if your name is Bob or Suzy).

Since child birth is already incorporated into the system (birth certificates), everyone knows that Bob and Suzy now have a child. Being the horrible people they are, they didn’t notify the corporation that patented the human genome. We’ll call that company “AssTech,” for obvious reasons. AssTech sends Bob and Suzy a letter, telling them to pay the royalties or the President of AssTech will be forced to sue them for his monetary loss (he does after all LEGALLY own the rights to their child’s DNA). Bob and Suzy ignore the notice because they are dirty, filthy thieving scum and enemies of the people.

Bob knows what his stand will yield, because the penalty is always death, but he would rather protect his family than bow to evil. Bob buys some extra ammunition for the guns that he already owns because he is a responsible anticitizen and knows that the police are unlikely to show up in time if he should ever need them for protection. Knowing that the state is far better armed and armoured than he, Bob also buys some grenades and an assault rifle (that is, an automatic weapon) on the black market.

Everything continues as normal until one day the police show up and tell Bob to come with them because he has broken the law. Bob acknowledges that he has broken the law, but still holds that he has does nothing wrong and therefore deserves no punishment. He kindly asks the police to leave and they do so, neither side wanting a confrontation. However they return with a warrant, which somehow makes kidnapping (arrest) and theft (search and seizure) okay. Bob refuses them entrance because he knows he still hasn’t done anything wrong. He tells them to go to hell and slams the door in their poor, caring faces who only want to protect public order.

Later that night, a SWAT team, the heroic protectors of everyday Americans just like you and I, breaks into his house. Bob grabs his gun and shoots them dead, because he is resourceful and reads military and police tactical manuals and trained with a militia. Unfortunately, there is a SWAT sniper outside and as soon as Bob comes steps in front of the window, he is shot in the back of the face. They then arrest Suzy as an accomplice. Their child goes to the president of AssTech who uses him as a slave boy to bring coffee and donuts to meetings.

The entire thing is legally justified. The news says that Bob and Suzy were terrorists, who had weapons and killed AGENTS OF THE LAW (which is apparently a crime, even if a so called “agent of the law” is using his authority to rape you and slit your throat afterward). And technically they are in violation of the law, but that does not make them wrong. Let’s tally up their crimes:
-fraud: they attempted to slip between the cracks, not informing AssTech that they had had a child with human DNA
-theft: they had a child with human DNA (which is legally the intellectual property of AssTech) without the permission of AssTech
-treason: they prepared for war against the state
-resisting arrest: Bob pleaded guilty to his crimes, but told the police to leave anyway since “he had done nothing wrong”
-terrorism: they ruthlessly murdered an entire SWAT team and owned illegal weapons

Now, this was just a hyperbolic example, but surely the moral of the story is no less apparent. I will let you figure it out on your own. Also, if AssTech had been the Russian Mafia instead, Bob and Suzy would have been heroes. However, that previous statement assumes that there is a difference between the state and the mafia.

Goat See?

I have inacted a movement towords weapons funding. The basic Idea is to create a weapon that cannot be reproduced or copied. It shall be the only one of its kind and only ONE will be made. Of course building sutch a weapon with conventional materials cannot meet these crucial requirements. The awnser is biological building blocks, thats right building a weapon on the cellular level.

After many trial and errors and a couple of run ins the the Geneva Convention I beleive to have reached a final product.

 

Thats right bitches project B.I.L.L is coming to rape and pillage your neighborhood soon!
VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!!!!!

On the Sanctity of the Law

Be it an elderly couple importing orchids without proper paperwork, tax protesters defending their property from state thugs, or any other number of similar incidents, the long of arm law is as strong as ever.

Those who believe that “the law is the law,” defend the actions of tyrants throughout history whether they realize it or not. They justify lethal force against protesters. They condone death squads and secret police. They think that judges should blindly punish violators of the law without exercising judgment. They fail to realize there exists a difference between justice and law. What is just, is not always lawful; what is lawful, is not always just. Justice can only be applied when a party has been wronged. In the two specifically mentioned cases above, no wrong had been done until the law decided it would be a good idea to intervene. If you want justice, forgo the law and achieve order.

I’m still waiting for the day when push comes shove, but with very few exceptions (actually, none that I can readily reference) we have barely extended a finger to the position required to carry out a poorly executed poke. It seems that fear is the only insurmountable obstacle that halts our advance. Fear of persecution and ridicule. Fear of prosecution and imprisonment. Fear of being raided by a SWAT team. Fear of being shot dead in the streets. Fear of seeing our loved ones suffer because of our own irresponsible and poorly thought-out actions. I can think of no other reason why we’ve yet to take a stand, though futile it may be. I may have long fallen from the grace of God, but yet I find impossible wisdom in the following words:
“…love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love”
–1 John 4:18

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love.”
–1 John 4:18

Brownmetalz Does NOT Come In Peace…

I’m posting on your shit! I’m in your suvOr to spread my overrated opinions. I am becoming the anti-tool of society by imitating your tooly ways. My opinion is the one that matters because I know my SHIT and don’t get my facts from WIKIDICK! You’re the one reading this and cannot stop so therefore I will attempt to make my posts amusing for all of us.
Damn your eyes…

That is all …

EVENT: Urban Exploration September 23

UPDATE: 23rd is now the official date, be it rain, sun, or nuclear winter.

On the 23rd of this month, we will explore 3 currently unexplored locations. Locations will not necessarily be explored in the order presented below.

Location 1: “Operation Creek Run”
Explore Rosamond Park across the street from MicroCenter on S Tamarac Drive. We will begin in the park and follow the creek north, possibly to Tamarac Square where is goes underground and becomes impossible to continue without at least knee high rubber boots. It is possible that additional tributaries flow into the creek under bridges at Tamarac and Princeton and/or Tamarac and Rosemary. This is the same creek that flows through “Stoner Park,” “Little Mexico,” and Cook Park, eventually flowing into Cherry Creek through “Location B.”

Location 2: “Operation Graveyard Shift”
South of Fairmount Cemetery (near Lowery) is a bike path that runs along a creek. Upon latest recon (September 19th), the creek was completely dried up and it is unlikely that that will change anytime soon. This means that any drainage tunnels acting as inflows or outflows, will also be dry. We explore and document the dried up creek and investigate the outer edges of the cemetery for a follow-up mission in the future.

Location 3: “Operation sub-YMCA”
A tunnel that flows into a small creek behind the YMCA building on Colorado Boulevard, appears to be dry. This tunnel likely leads underneath Colorado Blvd and connects at a junction to other tunnels. We will explore the first section of this tunnel (assuming that it does in fact intersect at a junction) or until reaching a point which is impassible due to distance from entrance, time constraints, water, etc. Note that this tunnel is visible to many houses and the dicks at the YMCA so some deal of stealth will be required.

Alternative Location 3: “Operation ‘Little Mexico’ II” (if Operation sub-YMCA results in failure.
The area surrounding the tunnel dubbed “Little Mexico” remains vastly unexplored. One such location is a tunnel that runs beneath the rec-center across the street from Little Mexico. This tunnel carries the water that pours out at the Little Mexico Outflow. Though there is about a foot of water, it is possible that this tunnel may be accessed on foot via built-up sediment, river banks, or maintenance walkways.

What to bring:
Leather or rubber boots (needed)
Lunch or money for lunch (needed unless you want to collapse of hunger and die)
Water (same as above)
Gloves (optional, but recommended)
Flashlight (optional, but recommended unless you want to use one of my really crappy backup lights)
All other supplies will be provided, though you will be responsible for any that you borrow.

Also, I shouldn’t have to say it because it should be obvious but for legal purposes I’ll say it anyway: if you are not in good shape (i.e. you’ll have a heart attack if you run for more than 2 consecutive minutes) or you’re afraid of minor injuries that will heal within a week, don’t even think about making a reservation. For the sake of the expedition (and so I don’t get sued when you fall in the river and drown LIKE A FAT KID) you are expected to be responsible for your own welfare and making good choices. I’ll give you CPR/splint your broken arm/siphon the poison from your veins/etc but I WON’T cancel the expedition because you are TOO FAT to didn’t know what you were getting yourself into you fat chubby, FAT KID!

RSVP by 5:00PM on the 22nd at 303-929-2654 or zombieapocalypsereactionaryforce@yahoo.com. I will be standing by to answer your calls from ~11:00AM to ~9:00PM.
Also, I can only take 4 people, not including myself (and hopefully I won’t have to take more than 2), so reserve your spot in the expedition ASAP.

On Selective Service

I sometimes get a lot of flak for my position on selective service, but I’ve always stood by my unpopular and radical opinion. But considering that I am an anarchist, my opposition to anything mandatory shouldn’t surprise anyone. Maybe most people just don’t know what anarchism is all about.

The main objection to my hatred of selective service is “Well, there isn’t even a draft, so why worry about it?” Point A: if the rulers didn’t expect that they would need a draft in the future, they wouldn’t waste money and “human resources” on selective service. After all, if you’re going to build a cabinet, you’re going to need a hammer. Point B: I don’t like the military thinking that it can call on me at any time and I’m going to answer. It doesn’t matter if there is a draft or not. The mechanisms to create one are in place. And those mechanisms are just as dangerous to freedom as the draft itself.

Now I am not an anti-draft crusader who has dedicated every second of his life to its abolition, so I’ll keep this short and probably never touch on the subject again (unless of course there is a draft). Men: do what you will with your S.S. Cards: put them in a scrap book, laminate them, roll them up and smoke them, burn them for fuel, and et cetera. They are essentially meaningless since a piece of paper cannot behold a real man to do what he doesn’t want to do. Women: be glad you don’t have to register for the S.S.S. or worry about being sent to die for politicians who don’t give a fuck about you…yet, anyway.

Some people will no doubt bring up the fact that there was a draft in WWII and “without it, we’d all be speaking German.” Well, first of all, and slightly off topic, I wouldn’t be speaking German because I’d be too busy establishing and training an all-volunteer provisional army to overthrow the Nazi regime. Second of all, the draft started before the United States entered the war. After Pearl Harbor, patriotic sentiments were high enough that a draft would have not been effectively needed. Perhaps, as conspiracy theorists hold, the draft served the purpose of building up forces so that a large army would be on hand after Pearl Harbor (which the government of course knew was going to happen, and possibly even allowed it to happen) occurred and immediate retaliation would be possible. More likely, the government began conscripting men because they saw the inevitability of entering the war one way or another and knew that it must have a standing army in the event of being invaded (or rescuing its allies). Also, I should note that isolationist sentiments were high before the war, America having barely emerged from the Great Depression and citizens believing that the war was limited to Europe and posed no threat to them, making a draft necessary in the eyes of the state. That being said, I still wouldn’t have registered, if only out of principle, unless I was guaranteed the chance to scalp Hitler himself.

I leave you with a related quote from Edward Abbey:
“The tragedy of modern war is that the young men die fighting each other – instead of their real enemies back home in the capitals.”

Why I Hate People

…that (see above) is why. The frat-boy mentality and all it stands for: their beer bongs and their partying and their stupid sunglasses and their hair and their hoodies and washed-out, pre-torn jeans and that FUCKING PIG COSTUME and their trendy uselessness. People like the ones in the video are the reason I couldn’t stand another moment in college, by the way.

To quote the lyrics: “Chocolate covered booty-panties.” Seriously? Go die, you useless piece of trash. Die in a car crash. And I hope it catches on fire but then you are rescued. But then the ambulance crashes into a ravine and that catches on fire too and you are rescued again, this time by a helicopter, but the pilot gets shot in the face by a sniper and the helicopter spirals to the ground and bursts into flames and you die and receive judgment and God sentences you to hell for objectifying women and being a cock and when you get to hell Satan makes you listen to that song for all eternity because there is poetic justice in the universe and God and Satan listen to good music.

…but unfortunately there isn’t. Or maybe I’m just a bitter misanthrope.

Fortunately there is tasteful, intelligent, meaningful music that requires talent and ingenuity on behalf of the artist:

…and just to prove that I’m not a metal elitist:

Review: Khukuri-style Machete

For a twenty dollar machete from a flea market stand, I didn’t know what to expect. I was also concerned that I hadn’t heard of the company “Hero Edge,” and the fact that it sounds generic and as if it was made up on the spot by a drunken kung-fu enthusiast.

However, I was pleasantly surprised when I got home and promptly destroyed the cardboard box it came in. The blade was sharp right out of the box. The clip point and downward curving blade, make it look like the bastard child of an oversized bowie knife and a khukuri. The blade is also balanced with the weight in the front (as it should be with a blade designed for chopping) which makes it feel rather satisfying to wield.

A small problem that I ran into was that the wooden panels on the handle were uneven, so it left a painful groove in my palm after a few minutes of practice. I can hardly complain though, since I only paid $20 for it and it is otherwise everything I expected. A simple paracord wrap amended this problem and I likely would have added it anyway since a wooden handle can get slippery after a long day of bushwhacking, wood cutting, or zombie fighting.

Another problem was the sheath, which is a piece of crap. The way the shoulder strap is stitched on I would expect it to last about halfway through an average hike before snapping. There is not much to say about the exterior nylon, but the interior foam padding is useless, as the point of the blade shreds it every time you sheathe the machete. But again, I can’t really complain. The extensive FAIL of the sheath that it came with does justify making a new, custom sheath which I will cover later.

Specs

Blade length: 21.5 inches
Overall length: 16 inches
Construction: full tang
Steel: 440 stainless
Sheath: nylon with foam padding and shoulder strap

The zombie apocalypse as a metaphor for the collapse of society

Societal collapse (more accurately referred to as “change”) manifests itself everyday whether or not we realize it. For example, the change from LPs to MP3s or telephone booths to cellular phones that fit in the pocket may seem minuscule, but those changes mean more than advancing technology. They also represent the spirit of the times and thus their phasing out and eventual imminent disappearance can seem like the end of the world to those who grew up with them.

In science fiction, the zombie apocalypse can be seen as a metaphor for such perceived drastic and undesirable change. A virus spreads throughout most of the population, infecting individuals and turning them into same-minded zombies only motivated by the basic necessities of life. Some people survive by isolating themselves, but it is only a matter of time before the zombies infect them, too. Other survivors are naturally immune to the virus, and are singled out as a food source for the zombies, being forced to fight or die.

In comparison to modern society, these three types of entities present during the zombie apocalypse can be described as the follower, the blissfully ignorant, and the leader.
-The follower is the zombie. He or she does what everyone else does because it is easier to fit in than it is be persecuted. He or she prefers living comfortably until an uneventful and peaceful death due to age, starvation, or disease.
-The blissfully ignorant are those who isolate themselves from the spread of the virus. Although they may not like the big picture, they don’t have the will or means to change it. Or maybe they’d just rather not think about it.
-The leader is the survivor, following only what is in his or her heart, even to the point of lashing back against society without fear of persecution or prosecution. Or cracking some zombie skulls with a crowbar.

That being said, the mission of the Zombie Apocalypse Reactionary Force is to fight the metaphorical virus that is transforming our world into a metaphorical post-apocalyptic nightmare. A world without knowledge, honour, courage, respect, or anything else that actually matters. The undead represent all that is superficial and they must be destroyed before they can spread their virus of consumerism, entertainment news, pitiful romantic comedies, and brand name clothing.